Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
