oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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