She's JV to your varsity
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she told me i tasted like america
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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