I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
