So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
