I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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