I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
