Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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