Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
