Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
