wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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