naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
