I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She announced her abortion via fbk
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
