you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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