Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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