I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
