Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
