my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
