doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
