okay pat passed out under dana's car
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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