its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
