I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
