He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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