How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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