ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
