Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
