Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
