Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize