her vagine was all disorganized.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
