Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
