What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
