Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
