yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
