Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just cut my nipple shaving
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
