I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
