Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
