my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This baby is an asshole
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
