You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
