This is not my ceiling
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
