wrigley field is MILF paradise
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
