How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
