they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
