mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
