Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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