Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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