He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
