It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
