Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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