the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
