your thong is hanging out like whoa
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
