Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
