i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I FOUND THE LEGS
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
