You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
